The Inattentive Presentation
Women and girls are more often diagnosed with the predominantly inattentive type of ADHD. This means their symptoms are less disruptive to others and are often mistaken for personality traits or other conditions. These symptoms can include:
- Chronic disorganisation and forgetfulness: Misplacing keys, wallets, or phones, and forgetting appointments, deadlines, and social plans are common.
- Daydreaming or “zoning out”: Instead of physical hyperactivity, there’s often an internal restlessness or a “mind that never switches off,” leading to a constant stream of thoughts.
- Difficulty with follow-through: Starting projects with enthusiasm but struggling to complete them unless a deadline is imminent.
- Poor time management: Underestimating how long tasks will take and always running late, despite a strong desire to be on time.
Emotional and Internalised Symptoms
A significant part of ADHD in women is the emotional and psychological toll. Symptoms are often internalized, leading to a host of secondary issues.
- Emotional dysregulation: Experiencing emotions more intensely than others, leading to mood swings, irritability, and being easily overwhelmed. This is often misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression.
- Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD): An intense emotional pain and fear of being rejected or criticised. This can make social interactions and relationships particularly challenging.
- Perfectionism and “masking”: To compensate for their struggles and meet societal expectations, many women with ADHD develop compensatory strategies, such as meticulously creating lists, over-preparing for meetings, or overworking themselves. This constant effort to appear “put together” is mentally exhausting and can lead to burnout.
Why Is ADHD in Women Often Missed?
The differences in symptom presentation are a key reason for the diagnostic gap. Since hyperactivity and impulsive behaviors are less common in women, their struggles are often dismissed as being “chatty,” “shy,” or “a bit of a dreamer.” Societal expectations for girls to be well-behaved and accommodating also play a role, encouraging them to suppress or hide their symptoms.
If these symptoms resonate with you, remember that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition, not a character flaw. A proper diagnosis can be life-changing, providing a sense of validation and opening the door to effective coping strategies and treatment.